Review: The Sexpo is Debauched and Shameless, But Utterly Fabulous

It is even more debauched and shameless than I thought it would be. It’s fabulous. If the name offends you, and not just the use of the pun, don’t even drive past the CTICC this weekend. However, if you are in the mood for something naughty and fun, drop by as soon as possible. Seriously, go early as it fills up quickly. I went there at 6pm and queued for less than a minute, but by the time I left at 9pm the row almost went around the building.

It feels appropriate to have a portrait of our president at the Sexpo – perhaps even more appropriate that it was painted by a penis. Pricasso is an Australian artist who paints with his crown jewels, in public. The most shocking thing is that he’s actually quite good.

I expected the lingerie and toys to be hideously expensive, but in fact many were reasonably priced. Passion Fruit in particular had a good variety of well priced toys, and fantastic service. French had the cheapest lingerie with a special of R80 for three French cut panties.

Miss Naked Australia was quite disappointing. She lounged like a lioness on a warm day in a gold bikini. For twenty bucks, you can take a picture with her. Our own Miss Naked was a little more active. I caught a glance of her ass through her sheer body suit when she glided past me. Not that I particularly like looking at girls’ bottoms, but it feels like you ought to see at least one good one at an expo dedicated to sex.

Even with the giant cocks and scantily dressed girls walking around, it is the people attending the Sexpo that I found the most fascinating. There are girls whose matric certificates have yet to be printed, hip twenty and thirty-somethings, old ladies with their daughters, happy people and depressed looking overgrown emo children.

A ‘little something for the weekend’ then… for anyone feeling a little curious.

By Jana van Heerden
@janadidthis